IAMSANE's Blog - THE SOUND OF A STRANGER'S STRANGENESS ..... (1991)

AH LA LA!
"A man naked and a man head to toe in fur, they would both feel the cold tonight. I only came out to buy a packet of cigarettes, without my jacket as you can see, and before I reached the shop I realised just how stupid I am. I forgot my keys and so I am locked out of my own flat. I share a flat with two young men, Thomas and Owen, but they went out earlier to a nightclub in town and probably wont be back until about 2am. I think I am very lucky to have met you. I have half a bottle of Vodka at the flat, if my friends have returned early we can drink it and get ourselves warm. We could even have a bath. Would you like to have sex with me?......... I have lots of boyfriends. The last time I had sex was, when was it now.... Oh about ten days ago. Ten days is a long time for me to go without sex. How about you, when was the last time you had sex?........"

"Five months ago! Ah la la! Christ, I need sex regular, and I get it an awful lot I like to have sex with Arabic boys, or Italian boys. Not so much with English boys because their sexual needs are very basic. But the Arabs, even the straights would rather fuck a man than nobody at all, and they like to fuck rather than be fucked, which suits me. The last boy I had was an Indian boy who had a huge penis. Very thick, not too long but very thick. As thick as this! Ah la la! He was beautiful Very very beautiful. Beautiful cock. Do you want to fuck me? Do you find me attractive?......... I was very handsome when I was younger. Ah yes. I went to public school and most of the boys wanted to fuck me. I'll always remember the physical training teacher asking us which sport we would like to do today, we had a choice you see, and the other boys yelled 'Whatever sport Gerald is doing!' They all loved my tight arse. They loved it so much they tried to fuck me in the showers. You know, even these days I get complimented on my tight arse. What do you think? Don't you reckon I have a fine backside?........."

"I grew up in this part of London. I walked these very streets when I was just this high. Can you believe that? Can you imagine me as a child wandering through these streets as I do today? I know these streets so well. I suppose they are more my home than the place I rest my head. My Mother died when she was forty eight years old. That was awful for me. She and my Father set up a trust fund for me so I could live without having to work. My Father is still alive but we don't speak very often. He is very rich, he owns three hotels in this area. Do you know what a prostitute is?......... A prostitute is someone whom has sex without any material gain whatsoever. Did you know that? If you didn't you must be very stupid. So, if you don't like to fuck or be fucked what do you like? Tell me........A man recently asked me if I wanted to suck his cock in a telephone booth, and of course I refused. I mean, asking that in such a boorish manner! What he should have asked is, Would you like to make love to my penis?"

"This is where I live. I'll ring the bell in case Thomas and Owen are back from the nightclub.
I'll try again in a moment. Would you like a cigarette? Hell, they cannot be home yet, they can both hear perfectly well and are not in the habit of ignoring the buzzer. I must admit this is not the first time I have locked myself out of my flat. The last time I almost killed myself climbing out of the window of the flat on the third floor and dropping onto the balcony outside my room. I can't try that again because it is no longer the same person living in the flat above mine. The woman who lives there now, well, we do not agree. There's only one thing to do. I shall have to wake a neighbour, then at least we can get inside the building and out of this dreadful freeze. Everybody tells me I have a beautiful backside. Feel it. Would you not agree with all the boys who have taken great pleasure in fucking it? Anyway let's see if we can get inside, I'll try Kay's buzzer, she might be all right about being woken up. Hello Kay, it's me, Gerald, could you let me in please?....... But Kay I have locked myself out, my friends are out for the night and I am very cold. Please let me in....... Kay I am very sorry for waking you up.......Please Kay. You must let me in. Kay may it be on your conscience forever if in the morning when you leave for work you have to step over my frozen body!"

(inside)

"How old do you think I am?...... Forty six! Ah la la! Do you really think I look that old? I am thirty two for heaven's sake! Do I really look forty six? I don't think I like you anymore. Perhaps you should go. I don't think we could be friends. No no, please don't go just yet. I am sorry, I worry about my age. You were almost correct, I am forty five years old. Please forgive me. You are very sexy. Yes, look at you. Ah la la! You're beautiful! Forget going home, please, at least for half an hour or so. My friends should return in that time and if you are tired we can go to bed, to sleep. Ah la la! Well if you must go you must go. And if that is so I shall give you my telephone number so you can ring me. Anytime. But why not come here tomorrow afternoon for breakfast. We can have a bath together if you like. You are a very dirty boyfriend. Please come to see me tomorrow, or at least give me a ring. Ah la la. You're beautiful".